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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Doomsday Feeling

Do you ever have the feeling that something is just meant to go wrong?  I woke up after a strange night of dreams feeling like the bottom was going to fall out.  I looked at my husband..still there, snoring nicely, chipper little Brady making Hello noises and giggling about funny words he remembers from our Disney Trip. Mitchell, at a sleepover and Ryan passed out in his room..So family..all OK there.  Whew.. Still that feeling persists.  I made a pot of coffee, settled Brady into some TV, checked computer, nothing there either.  Feeling is NAGGING me now.  I get to work, nothing out of order there...Check the bank..fabulous, a bounced check..spiraling the bank account until payday Thursday and Income Tax deposit, never good..weird feeling can go away..figured it out, nope still there.  The basement drain is clogged again, which means we need a plumber here again, must be almost spring...which is a good/bad thing mixed. HMM what can it be...I didn't get a call back from my mom yesterday, and that was weird, maybe she is upset with me. Dad came over..he assures me all is OK that she worked late and went in early this morning...sent a text anyways saying I loved her and it is good to see dad every day of break, but that it would be good to see her as well.  Text back saying I will call back later, busy. So it could be that. I mean we all want to please our mother's, no matter how old we are.  Decide to sit down with bills, and budget the up coming months..because I am already feeling anxious so I might as well tackle something unpleasant.  Called my sister to have a little chat, and she assured me that even though she also couldn't talk that it wasn't me..so WHY this feeling?? And why does it matter??  And why can't I shake it?  Catholic guilt, bounced check, messy watery basement, budgeting...could all be what it is..but I think we need to go back to my first step STRANGE DREAMS. I hate waking up not knowing what my subconscious was planning for me...but hopefully tonight I will be able to shake it loose and move on with whatever it is trying to work out for me. For now some calming tea and little book might help take my mind off it all.

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